while talking with a dear dear friend i found myself saying
“…theres work that you “work in/at” and theres work that you “work for/with”…”
i cant control what path my decisions lead me to but id prefer the later.
it would be ideal. it would be awesome. it would be more than this.
COFFEE COUNT : 7 big ass cups #pinkyfingeryiz
“If you don’t feel it, flee from it. Go where you are celebrated, not merely tolerated.” — Paul F. Davis
its been a whirlwind and i havent really been able to pause and speak to myself.
i love what i am doing but is the love enough, is the “doing” ever enough.
i grew up constantly hearing “love never says i have done enough” and though coming from a phase i partially regret HAHA it does give a “shot to the heart and youre to blame” kind of feeling.
do i love?
have i loved?
is it love?
COFFEE COUNT: + 4
i walked alone
along the streets i have yet to be fully acquainted to
ive walked along them before but never like this
a sense of the unfamiliar familiar crept in
it wasnt compelling nor was it comforting
it just made itself felt.
and as i walked alone
i started to fear my own shadow
i may have had very little caffeine today. HAHA!
COFFEE COUNT: +4
the day began in the manner ive been accustomed to
the usual humming of sounds i refuse to take notice
the usual urgency of being where i distastefully need to be.
yet within the cloud of frustrations and internal defeat a sense of content made itself felt.
peculiar, unwanted, lamentable yet most definitely present and carried itself with a calm and slow acknowledgement
at the moment, for lack of anything else, i obliged.
i allowed content to get to me. in spite of it.
we had a blast.
COFFEE COUNT: +3 (+2 if you count the caffeine from the tea cups i had)