day 28.

while talking with a dear dear friend i found myself saying

“…theres work that you “work in/at” and theres work that you “work for/with”…”

i cant control what path my decisions lead me to but id prefer the later.

it would be ideal. it would be awesome. it would be more than this.

COFFEE COUNT : 7 big ass cups #pinkyfingeryiz

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day 23.

“If you don’t feel it, flee from it. Go where you are celebrated, not merely tolerated.” — Paul F. Davis

its been a whirlwind and i havent really been able to pause and speak to myself.

i love what i am doing but is the love enough, is the “doing” ever enough.

i grew up constantly hearing “love never says i have done enough” and though coming from a phase i partially regret HAHA it does give a “shot to the heart and youre to blame” kind of feeling.

do i love?

have i loved?

is it love?

 

COFFEE COUNT: + 4

day 14.

i walked alone

along the streets i have yet to be fully acquainted to

ive walked along them before but never like this

a sense of the unfamiliar familiar crept in

it wasnt compelling nor was it comforting

it just made itself felt.

 

and as i walked alone

i started to fear my own shadow

 

——

i may have had very little caffeine today. HAHA!

 

COFFEE COUNT: +4

day 11.

the day began in the manner ive been accustomed to

the usual humming of sounds i refuse to take notice

the usual urgency of being where i distastefully need to be.

 

yet within the cloud of frustrations and internal defeat a sense of content made itself felt.

peculiar, unwanted, lamentable yet most definitely present and carried itself with a calm and slow acknowledgement

 

at the moment, for lack of anything else, i obliged.

i allowed content to get to me. in spite of it.

we had a blast.

 

 

 

COFFEE COUNT: +3 (+2 if you count the caffeine from the tea cups i had)